Burning out....

So, i recently started a part-time job. It wasnt a financial requirment or something i HAD to do, it was simply a choice i made for myself & i dont regret it one little bit. God has given me this wonderful window of opportunity to have some time for myself, to get out of the rut i was stuck in and meet some new people. Plus, the clothing discount doesnt hurt either :)
Truth is, i dont get my self-worth from being a stay at home mom. Its actually quite the battle to stay at home and raise the kids and NOT work. So after much discussion & prayer we knew it would be good for me to go back to work. Im very part-time, only 10-15 hours per week, but i do love it and it was EXACTLY what i needed..thank you jesus!
Im still doing Total She, and running the house, making meals, changing bums, dealing with social workers, etc etc etc...do you see where this is going??
IM BURNING OUT!

I know, i did this to myself, but i think i have the solution. Im going to give up Total She. I have one more party in June and then im going to walk away from it. It feels like one more thing i have to do, and i just dont have the energy. There are so many more things in my life to focus on and goals to reach for, that i need to just take a deep breath and focus on other things.

A little update on the wee ones....
Tyler:
Has two teeth!
Started eating rice cereal this week and loves it!
Is starting to sit in the bumbo more and more (but he is too chubby so his legs always get stuck!)
Is starting to "blow bubbles" and "babble"
Has the biggest, most gorgeous smile EVER :)

Mataiya:
Has 2 teeth and another one on the way
loves to sing to her "babies"
Is starting to say more words
Sits on a booster at the table now (*tear*)
Does NOT like bread
prefers her mommy & daddy over everyone

Rylen:
Is so pumped for pre-school this fall
loves his new 3's room at church
Still isnt sleeping well at night
Is talking SO much!!
Is totally convinced he is "buzz lightyear"
is such a mamas boy and i love it :)

What a blessing it is to raise these little ones. Even when the days are tough and it seems this "raising & teaching" season is never going to end, at the end of the day i wouldnt want to be anywhere else!

Our life...

Things have been so crazy. Nothing in particular, just things!
We celebrated Mataiya turning 1 & Rylen turning 3 this past saturday! It was actually quite emotional for me. I am having a hard time accepting that fact that our baby girl is already a year old. I know i just need to absorb it, but its difficult. We toss around the idea all the time of having one more of our own, but the issue hasnt been settled yet, and we are just allowing God to lead.
The court date is set for Tyler this week as to whether or not he will become a permanent ward of the province. "Permanent" means nothing in foster care. It just means basically that the goverment will make the decisions for him. Its sad really.
But, he is doing AMAZING! This is our "dream baby"..he eats awesome (he eats ALOT) and he sleeps through the night, rarely fusses and constantly flashes us that huge, gorgeous grin all day long. Even battling a lung infection on two seperate occasions he is such a great baby!
Rylen has been terrible. I know that doesnt sound nice, but He has changed SO much! He went from this sweet, obedient child to a terror almost over night. We arent sure where or why it came, but we are praying that God will take us through this season quickly, give us the patience we need and help us to learn from this. I have to allow myself some time away because its really difficult some days. He is mostly testing, pushing his limits and we are trying to remain as consistent as possible, because i think that he is learning how far he can push us. We are on the same page with our parenting (most of the time) so we just stand firm. As firm as we can anyway. But, we did sign him up for pre-school this last friday, and once again, it made me really emotional. It seemed like just yesterday i was holding him and adoring him for the first time, waking up @ 3am for a feed and rocking him in the crook of my arm, but he is growing and things have changed so much. He went from diapers to "gitchies"..2t to 3t..no words to a full vocabulary, and despite the fact we are in a tough season with him, its amazing to watch him grow!
Mataiya is wonderful. Rylen and Taiyas personalitys are totally opposite! She is very high-maintenance, extremely sensitive. Loves to eat anything you put in front of her, but a pure love. She is the sweetest girl i have ever known! She really does make my heart smile. She is starting to talk, her first word was "no", she says "hi" when you walk into the room and she has start nodding her head when she wants to say "yes"..im so grateful for healthy children. I know of a few parents who are dealing with major medical/health issues with their children, but so far, God has spared us & we are thankful!
Ivon took me to "Stars on Ice" last thursday and it was amazing! I loved it!! It was something i have wanted to do ever since i was a little girl, and i loved every minute of it!!

TOTAL SHE

I recently attended a "Total She" party @ my sisters. It peeked my interest and i began speaking with the consultant. She informed me they are recruiting consultants and they have no one in the SE area! Well, being in sales and having a natural love for retail, the wheels started turning. I brought the idea home to Ivon and he said "absolutely!" (Im super blessed to have a super supportive husband). So, in April i will officially be a consultant for "Total She Inc."..im nervous as heck (big gulp)..but im really excited about the opportunity for a little extra income, a small break from the wee ones and a whole lotta personal growth :)
What is Total She??
A fabulous line of affordable jewellery. It can also be engraved! There is more than just jewellery, they also carry a line of body washes and bath products (all chemical free!) and a whole bunch more cool stuff!
Total she is a canadian buisness focusing their products primarily on women entrepenurs!
So, why dont chya take a peak at the website (www.totalshe.com) and if you are interested in having a party or taking a closer look at the catalogues let me know!
Please email me at : heathertotalshe@gmail.com

looking back...

I cant beleive Taiya is almost a year, i remember last year being uncomfortably pregnant, awaiting her arrival and anticipating having a little girl :) As much as i dont enjoy pregnancy, i kinda miss that big belly :) I thought just for fun it would be neat to post some pics of that big, swollen belly=) This was almost at my due date...

Thank you...

In the midst of all the things that people can be "down and out" on..i thought it would be a fantastic time to name a few things that im thankful for..

1)The fact that Tyler loves his swing

2)The chance to love Tyler, despite all the circumstances that surround fostering

3)Watching Rylen learn & preparing him for preschool

4)My camera, so i can capture amazing memories!

5)The relationship that ive been more than blessed with over the past year with my sister

6)Watching Taiya explore a whole new world with eating "real food"

7)The opportunity to shop & occasionaly spoil the kids =)

8)The MCC..i have found soo many amazing deals there!

9)Our church..and all the incredible people we have met there

10)The three little giggles that ALWAYS get me out of a bad mood :)

Rubber boots & water...

So, our Rylen is turning 3 this spring and he has changed incredibly!
I adore the way my parents raised me, and will be forever thankful. However, i wasnt allowed to get a little dirty outside, so i put Rubber boots, splash pants and a sweater on Rylen and let him go to town..these are things our little guys LOVES!
The Giggles and the excitment were so worth it! And, when he was done he told me and we came in for a nice warm bath right away. Praise Jesus for sunshine and little boys!

Staying at home...

Ever since Ivon went back to work its been really tough. Spending the evenings alone has not been easy. I do find myself wallowing in self-pity, because it really isnt that bad, and i should just be grateful, but i was really loving having him home in the evening. We were able to eat supper together, bath the kids together, and then enjoy some time alone in the evening together. We only ever get some time alone on the weekends in the evening. Its straining on our marriage. But, we have also learnt to cherish the time we DO have, and to count our blessings.
I am grateful for the people God has put in my life so it helps me to not feel so lonely. Love it :)

My "babsies"

I love these three little ones....they truly make me smile :D

update

There isnt really a whole lot to blog about. Today is Ivons first day back to work after having been in school for the last 8 weeks. I loved having him home every evening and most days he was home super early, so it was almost like a mini vacation. Im really going to miss him being able to go to bed at the same time as me, but thats ok, im sure soon enough we will have all adjusted back to our "normal" schedule.
We have so many things going on in our little life right now. More than i care to share, alot of uncertainty, but we are trusting God with all of it, and these are the times we find ourselves needing Him just a little more.
The kids are growing like crazy! Rylen is such a little person now, not just a baby anymore. Taiya is on the move and Tyler is just super content and smily, a totaly joy in our lives. There have been alot of mixed emotions in fostering, but we have embraced it and we are trying to just give the whole experience to God and allow Him to also lead us in this as well.
It seems as though we are always busy with something, it may not be anything really exciting or worth sharing, but it feels like we are constantly going...but i guess thats all apart of having kids :)

Goodbye sweet girl..

Suddenly and in her sleep at the age of 23 my cousin, hannah, drifted off to sleep and never woke up..
She will be fondly and lovingly remembered by her smile and laughter..her zest for life and they ways in which she never gave up.
So today, remember that life is short,and remind yourself to say "I love you..", kiss a little longer and love a little harder..
Rip Hannah..we will never, ever forget you ♥

2 months

Our sweet little peanut @ 2 months...

Thank you...

Im posting another 7 things that i am thankful for...

1)The meeting with Peanuts mom went amazing
2)The smiles that Mataiya gives me every morning she wakes up
3)Apple-mango-tango Gain laundry detergent
4)Our dream goals
5)The power of prayer
6)Rylens art work displayed all over the fridge
7)Grand-parents that take our little ones to give us a break

Season of change...

So, its been a week of adjustment, love, tears and joy. Its strange how before peanut came in to our lives we dreamnt of him, but now that he is here, it feels as though he has always been here. He just fits right in.
Now, it hasnt been a piece of cake. He was weaned off his meds last week, so he is still battling with health issues. He is grumpy, and most days he doesnt sleep. He has grown to love his swing..and he loves to eat, so between that and holding him we have found the right amount of comfort for him.
His worker came and did a visit and was able to answer some important questions. His worker is fabulous which makes things easier for us. She is new to the agency too so we are figuring things out together.
He gives us the sweetest smiles, and is incredibly observant for a month old. We feel more than blessed to take care of him and love him...

sneak peek

I wanted to share a few of our favorite pics of our little peanut on here, ive been reminding myself constantly to take lots and lots of pictures and start an album for him and for ourselfs so that if by chance, he does ever leave, we will always have those memories and so will he...

Life with 3...

So, friday we got to pick up our little peanut (finally)..i have to say that as excited as i was that the time had finally come, i was incredibly nervous! But, i prayed about it and let God take that fear away and we tried to just enjoy the moment. Friday night he slept for 4 hours at a time, the next day he was sleeping on and off. He doesnt sleep for long stretches during the day.
Rylen instantly fell in love with him, and Taiya is just too young to really get it.
Saturday night he was up alot, we managed to go to church and he did awesome!
Sunday, he did pretty good, again he was awake alot, but happy for the most part.
He loves loves loves to be held!
Last night he was up twice. He usually wakes up in the morning for the morning at 7:00. Not too bad.
Today is day one of decreasing his meds and he will be off of them completely on Friday. Which is also the day we bring him for a follow-up to his pediatrician. Today is my first day alone, and i was very aprehensive. But, its been pretty good so far. No glitches (yet). The only time it gets tough is when he wants to be held and Taiya needs something, so i have to juggle things around to accomodate both of them, but i really love having three!!
He is super smiley and totally melts your heart!! We are very grateful to be able to take care of him..for the most part its pure pleasure :)

Welcome home!!

So far things are going pretty well, he is such a little sweetheart!
Just thought i would add an updated pic..

The day is finally here!!

We got the awesome news that we are able to finally take our little peanut home today! We cant wait to finally get the chance to love him and take care of him! Praise God that he is doing much better!
Wish us luck!!

Thankful heart

I want to continue starting off the week thanking God for 7 awesome things we are blessed with...
1) Southland library..so i can read when its "me time" & we can borrow the books for free
2)The nurses at the T1 nursery that take amazing care of Tyler 24/7
3)The chance to reconcile old friendships + strenghthen existing ones
4)The fact that God always gives me the motivation to keep up with my housework and make great meals for my family
5)The little heater that keeps our room (in the basement) super toasty warm
6)Devotion time with my husband
7)Healthy children...its so easy to take that for granted

Married to a school boy

My husband is off to his first day at school, he will be completing level one of his 4 level course to get his red seal ticket for his millwright apprentice (fancy term for industrial mechanic). I am so proud of him!
He was originally suppose to be going for 8 weeks to college of the north which is located in The Pas. We were fortunate enough to get a spot here in winnipeg. Which means an hour commute there and back daily, but its so much better than missing out on 8 weeks together!
He was a little nervous yesterday so as soon as i woke up this morning i dove right into prayer... Im confident he will be just fine...
Its going to mean a bit of a financial struggle for us, but the church service yesterday was exactly what we needed! God wants us to be weak, and to experience weakness in order to seek Him. So, im not going to pout or complain about our financial situation, instead i am going to praise Him and love Him and thank Him for this opportunity...

Healing love

We might possibly be able to finally bring home our little peanut in a couple of days. Either the sunday, monday or tuesday mark. They are weaning him off of the morphine and then we will be going for specialized training in administering his other meds and then he will finally be coming home to us. We are very excited about this, and we were wondering if this was ever going to happen. God heals, and we trusted that all along. Im hoping the next post will be picture of him finally at home.