Some people know me a little better than others..and thats ok. For the most part, im a private person, i keep alot of walls up and dont know any different. My best friend & my husband are the only ones that can knock those walls down. But, for those of u who do know me know how badly i struggled with post-partum depression with Rylen.
It was rough, and i ended up going back to work full-time when he was only 6 months old. Ever since Mataiya was born i have thought of going back to work on several occasions (ecspecially through the colic) and realized as much as i thought about going back to work and convinced myself it was right, I felt God telling me otherwise. I fought this hard, trying to plea with God to give me peace about going back to work. Nope. His plan is different. All the road signs have been taken down and im suppose to stop in my tracks and raise my children and become a foster mother. Okay, now those of u who know me also know im a worry-wart and i dont do well with financial burden. So now, God has opened my heart and my eyes to foster children, and raise mine and financially we will be ok. God kept telling me "just trust me". Ugh..but its so hard. I knew He had a plan. I have just received an opportunity to baby-sit full time for a friend of ours beginning in May. WOW!! Going from a woman who had a hard time staying at home, doesnt always do well off of no sleep and worrys about everything, God has placed all of this in my hands. I know, beyond all of things i have no control of, God is taking care of us. He is giving me a purpose. Beyond fear, i am excited and looking forward to it all. I am so lucky to have an encouraging husband who does nothing but take care of me and allow these opportunities to grow and when im scared i know he is always there to catch me.
So, our future is going to be a little crazy. But, beyond the craziness and chaos there is a purpose....
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Hi Heather,
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if you remember me but I met you at Megan's baby shower. I was the one with the little foster baby. I totally understand what you are saying here- it's amazing how God's plan for us is so different than our own. God has already used me in way I never thought and I feel God will do the same for you. Look forward to keeping up with your blog... and you are welcome to keep up with mine if you like: http://small-inspirations.blogspot.com/
BTW- I made the template you are using- and my son's name is Rylan also :)
I totally remember you..and it is true. I seem to have made this plan in my head but God opened my eyes to HIS plan, and of course its so much more incredible than my own.
ReplyDeleteI love your templates and i love the name Rylen :)